First lesson: Small talk

First of all, what does "small talk" mean?

It is an informal type of discourse that does not cover any functional topics of conversation or any transactions that need to be addressed.

Purpose

In spite of seeming to have little useful purpose, small talk is a bonding ritual and a strategy for managing interpersonal distance. It serves many functions in helping to define the relationships between friends, work colleagues, and new acquaintances. In particular, it helps new acquaintances to explore and categorize each other's social position. Small talk is closely related to the need for people to maintain positive face — to feel approved-of by those who are listening to them. It lubricates social interactions in a very flexible way, although the desired function is often dependent on the point in the conversation at which the small talk occurs:

1. At the beginning of a conversation

Where there is already a relationship between the two talkers, their small talk serves as a gentle introduction before engaging in more functional topics of conversation. It allows them to signal their own mood and to sense the mood of the other person. In a business meeting, it enables people to establish each others' reputation and level of expertise. When the talkers do not know each other, it allows them to show that they have friendly intentions and desire some sort of positive interaction.

2. At the end of a conversation

Suddenly ending an exchange may risk appearing to reject the other person. Small talk can be used to mitigate that rejection, affirm the relationship between the two people, and soften the parting.

3. As a space filler

In many cultures, silences between two people are usually considered uncomfortable. Tension can be reduced by starting phatic talk until a more substantial subject arises.

Topics

The topics of small talk conversations are generally less important than their social function. The selected topic usually depends on any pre-existing relationship between the two people, and the circumstances of the conversation. In either case, someone initiating small talk will tend to choose a topic for which they can assume a shared background knowledge, to prevent the conversation being too one-sided.

Topics can be summarized as being either direct or indirect. Direct topics include personal observations such as health or looks. Indirect topics refer to a situational context such as the latest news, or the conditions of the communicative situation. Some topics are considered to be 'safe' in most circumstances:

a) The weather

b) Recent shared experiences, for example "Good party last night, wasn't it?"

c) Television and films